Posts Tagged Amazon

25 random things.

I’m usually late when it comes to memes, and I had actually posted much of this on my Facebook notes way back in February. But I realized I never posted them here.

So, for your entertainment/amusement/shock/whatever, here are twenty-five random facts about yours truly.

  1. I have severe social anxiety; I have to force myself to leave my apartment. I also deal with arrested development disorder and dysthymia (long-term depression).
  2. I do not own a car. I ride a 2007 Suzuki Burgman 400 maxi-scooter. I also own a 2004 Yamaha Vino 125 scooter that is retired in my ex-wife’s garage after riding it over 25,000 miles. In the event of my imminent bankruptcy, HSBC Bank will get it back.
  3. I purchased said Burgman in September of 2007. I’ve ridden it over 20,000 miles since then.
  4. I’m a Disney freak. I spend nearly every weekend in Walt Disney World. When I lived in California (until 2000), I spent almost every day in Disneyland. I would bring my handheld PC with me to work on my invoices there.
  5. I once rode my Vino 125 from Lakeland, FL to Daytona Beach to attend a F.A.I.T.H. Riders chapter commissioning. It was a four-hour backroads trip that required me to leave at 4:30 in the morning in order to arrive by 8:30 AM. They made me trailer the bike home. The trip has become somewhat of a F.A.I.T.H. Riders legend.
  6. While I receive a lot of compliments on my penmanship, I don’t like to write by hand. You will rarely get a handwritten letter from me.
  7. I was bullied daily from the second grade through high school. It still affects me at the age of 37 (see #1).
  8. Because of the aforementioned bullying, I intentionally flunked a semester of P.E. in high school by refusing to change out of my street clothes into my P.E. uniform (t-shirt and shorts). When I made up the semester my senior year, it was the only time I ever got an "A" in P.E.
  9. I am genuinely afraid of answering a telephone (see #1 again). The best and quickest way to reach me is by e-mail. It drives my girlfriend nuts.
  10. I first learned how to play guitar. Then I learned how to play keyboard by matching the sounds of the notes on the guitar with the notes on the keyboard. I then learned to play in church by ear. My friend, the church pianist, would play the song and I would figure out the chords by ear to play on the keyboard.
  11. I met my now ex-wife in an AOL chat room. The first time we met face-to-face was the night we got engaged. She also told me she was filing for divorce in an e-mail.
  12. In spite of my severe social anxiety, I love public speaking and especially sharing my story with others.
  13. I was told at my mother’s funeral in 1996 that I should consider a career as a writer for Hallmark.
  14. My musical tastes range from classical to smooth jazz to country to gothic metal. I do not like rap.
  15. I am a huge Mylène Farmer fan. Laurent Boutonnat is a songwriting genius.
  16. I will often turn off a TV or radio program or commercial where the protagonist is in an embarrassing or compromising position (or is otherwise generally behaving like an idiot) out of embarrassment for the person in the commercial.
  17. I am convinced that most of the drivers in my area received their driver’s education at the Richard Petty Driving School.
  18. I don’t drink because I don’t like the taste of alcohol, although my girlfriend/fiancée has turned me on to local wines. However, I haven’t had any since she returned to California from her last visit (in February).
  19. I first met my current girlfriend in junior high school; then we lost touch for 20-plus years until 2008 when she found me on MySpace several months after my divorce.
  20. I do most of my grocery shopping at Walmart at 3 or 4 AM. It’s the center of Plant City social life.
  21. I am not much of a reader. Reading books puts me to sleep. Maybe it’s because of all the scholarly texts I had to read in bible college. Since graduating Bible college in 1996, of the many books I have started to read, I have only finished two of them—Mark Lowry’s “Live Long and Die Laughing” and the biography “Rachel’s Tears” (the story of one of the Columbine victims).
  22. I’m a visual, hands-on learner. I’d rather just use the product to learn it or work with examples.
  23. I am self-taught with HTML, PHP, VB, VBA, DocBook, and TeX/LaTeX.
  24. Since moving to Florida I consider any temperature below 70°F to be "freezing."
  25. I write nearly all of my correspondence using LaTeX rather than Word.

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Scooter down.

Not a good day yesterday. I left the apartment for my daily pickup at the post office, turned the key on the Burgman, and—nothing.
 
The display didn’t even come on.
 
The Burgman has a parking light setting on the ignition; if one turns the key one more step past the steering lock setting it turns on some smaller lights on the bike (parking lights). I’ve done it a few times, and I’ve also done it a few times by accident, but caught it as I would walk away from the bike or a kind neighbor would tap on my door to let me know I had lights still on.
 
That neighbor is long gone; and I guess I must have done it again the other afternoon when I returned from getting my mail. In any event, I came out yesterday morning to a Burgman with no power. I’m assuming it’s a drained battery.
 
Luckily, a Battery Tender Jr. was only $26 shipped from Amazon.com Prime, so I’m waiting for that to arrive today to try charging the battery back up and hopefully on Saturday I’ll be back on the road. It’s a lot less expensive than a $75 motorcycle battery.

Posted via email from Steven Buehler

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Talents.

image credit: Jeff BelmonteI’m reminded a lot lately of the story of the Talents (Matthew 25:14-30; Luke 19:12-28). That’s not surprising given that I’ve spent most of my personal and academic study involved in the parables. However, this illustration in particular has always taken me.

Jesus, if we were to set aside all claims to deity for a moment, was at the least a master storyteller. If you were to take the time to not only read the parables, but to also study the culture and times during which they were first told, you’ll find that Jesus has a masterful way of setting up his listeners and then yanking the rug of security out from under them. He sets up his audience to put themselves in the place of the character who seems to be doing the most right, only to be told that the very same “right” character was so very wrong. It’s speculation, but I’m sure that’s one of the biggest reasons that the religious leaders (Pharisees) wanted Jesus out of the way—he threatened their very security and livelihood.

The story goes something like this, in my paraphrase—a landowner, preparing to leave for a long trip, calls three of his workers and gives them responsibility to manage his assets while he’s away. To the first worker he gives responsibility for five portions, to the second, two, and to the third, one portion. Then, he leaves. The first two workers go out and invest what they’ve been entrusted with, doubling their portions, the third worker buries what he’s been given in hopes of at least being able to return to the landowner the amount he was given. When the owner returns, the two workers who invested what they were given are praised, while the worker who doesn’t loses what he was given and is thrown out of the owner’s employ.

We’re tempted (like any beginning Bible scholar) to determine the modern day equivalent of what each worker was given—we want to know how much it was in today’s dollars that the first worker got, that the second worker got, and how much the third worker buried in his backyard. The fact is that how much a “talent” is worth in today’s dollars isn’t important for this story, so we can set aside our calculators and slide rules. It’s the actions of the workers—specifically, the third worker who buried what he was given—that is important for us.

The crowd listening to this story, most of them being Jews, would have immediately identified with the third worker as Jesus tells the story. Israel was a nation whose intent was to preserve and protect their spiritual and national heritage at any cost. It was the cause of a lot of tension between Israel and the occupying Roman government and would eventually lead to Israel’s destruction only a few decades after Jesus gives this parable. In this sense, the parable is prophetic.

In Jewish law, burying something was considered the safest way to protect it from loss. In fact, if I had been entrusted with a friend’s life savings, and I buried it in my backyard, and a thief was to come and steal it from where it was buried, I could not be held liable for the loss.

The problem with this was that God’s expectation for His people (Israel) was that they would do much more with what they were entrusted than to simply preserve and protect it. They were expected to share it. To invest it in other nations. To be a beacon for other nations, a model for other nations to look at and desire to emulate by worshipping the same God of Israel. They were to be an example. However, Israel had repeatedly failed at fulfilling this trust (although, in a prophetic future they will finally succeed at this, but not because of anything they’ve done about it; it will be entirely God’s doing). Eventually, even the one portion they had (the land) was taken from them by the Romans, who then moved other nations into the land to take their place (which, by the way, is where we get “Palestine” from—there never were a “Palestinian people”; it was an invention of the Roman Empire after they forcibly removed the Jews from their homeland in order to prevent the Jews from ever again reestablishing themselves in the same area).

What makes this the rug that Jesus pulls out from underneath his listener is that this trust was not the “five talents” or even the two. It was the single portion that the third worker was given. What makes this even more ironic is that the owner gave to each worker “according to his ability.” The owner figured that this third worker could at least handle even this small thing. For God, what Israel had been given was the simplest and most basic thing they could use, and they didn’t use it. Eventually, it was taken from them (but prophecy suggests they will receive it back at the appropriate time—and this time, they’ll have learned their lesson)

What application could this all have for you and me? I think there are a few:

  • God, the “wealthy landowner,” doesn’t give us any more—or less—than He knows we have the ability to work with. The fact that Jesus mentions that each worker was given a portion “according to his ability” is important. God knows how much blessing–and how much trouble—we are each able to deal with. He will never give us more trouble than we can handle, but he also won’t give us any less or more blessing than we can use.
  • The corollary to the first point is that we will not get more until we get faithful what we’ve already got. The phrase “according to his ability” is applicable here. The first two workers got five portions and two portions because they had already shown that they could handle those amounts. They had to show that they could be faithful with a single portion or with two portions before they would get the five portions. If we are not faithful in using what we have now, even if it doesn’t seem like much, how should we expect to get any more? Even in the modern workplace, I could not expect to become responsible for a large project roll-out until I could show that I could handle the smaller regulatory changes (and unfortunately, I blew it on two of the smaller projects, so I lost even those and here I am collecting unemployment).
  • Which brings the second point: we are expected to use what we’ve been blessed or troubled with. Even if it is for the smallest of profits, like the worker who could have put it in the bank to simply accrue a small amount in interest, we are expected to do something, anything, with what we’ve been given. Anything but burying it away to never be used or applied to our lives and the lives of others. More importantly, we’re expected to use it right here, right now (note, the first two workers “immediately” did something with what they were given—they didn’t wait until the economy got better or they were able to relocate to a more hopeful place). This is where “Grow where you’re planted” comes in that I’ve been constantly thinking about. There are opportunities to use what I’ve been given right here, right now if I would simply get my head out of my own hind end and look around. I don’t need to wait for the economy to improve, to get a job, or wait to be able to move to California or anywhere else to do what I should be doing right now. The fact of “Grow where you’re planted” is that I could be blossoming and flourishing today if i would simply put to use what I’ve been given to work with, even if it doesn’t seem like very much right now.
  • The most important point: the blessing we are given is never meant to be kept for ourselves. This goes directly against so-called “Word of Faith” or “prosperity” teaching. The reason our cup sometimes overflows isn’t for us to think about getting ourselves a bigger cup. It’s so that the overflow can go through our cup into the cups of others. One of the reasons I listen to Joel Osteen, even though he’s classified as a “prosperity teacher,” is because he’s one of the very few such teachers, if not the only one, to make the point that blessing is meant to be shared and not hoarded (unfortunately, he waited until the last chapter of “Your Best Life Now” to make that point, but the point was made). We are blessed to be a blessing. If we are going to teach prosperity, we had better remember to include the reason for prosperity, and it’s not to keep it to ourselves.

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Listening to: Serenity

“Fallen Sanctuary” (Serenity) (Amazon.com)

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